I finally finished everything with my grad school application. Yay! I feel like a huge weight has been lifted. For the past two weeks I've been scrambling to finish and perfect my resume, the essay, and the application and to get all the materials together to send off. And now after all that stressing, it's now officially out of my hands. It's such a relief on one hand, but on the other hand it's nervewracking. All I can do now is wait in anticipation and hope that I get accepted.
After the stress of recent and irritations and such, I decided to just get off campus and take a me day. I went to my second home aka Barnes and Noble and was there for about 5 1/2 hours. It was bliss. I studied, and read C.S. Lewis, listened to music...During the time I was there, there was these two people sitting at the two tables next to me who started conversing about beliefs and God and the Bible. So I paused my ipod, but kept my headphones in so I could discreetly listen. The man said that he was an anti-theist, not an atheist, an anti-theist. He had some really interesting arguments, several of which I'd never heard before. He cited specific scripture verses several times too, and I looked them up as he talked about them and some of them he was just taking completely out of context, but others had me thinking "what Bible did he read?" It was really interesting. There were several times I wanted to interject, but I was not sure enough of my knowledge to do that. I hate that. I want to be confident enough in my faith to be able to talk to people openly about it. However, even if I would have been confident in this situation, the man seemed very set in his ways and not open to suggestion or in changing his viewpoints. As he brought up new arguments and sub-points for each argument, I opened a word document and began typing out his conversation (unbeknownst to him of course). Now I can take his arguments and study them and turn to the Bible so that next time I can perhaps feel more confident speaking about my faith.
I've been so busy lately that my priorities have gotten a little skewed. I've pushed God to the sidelines and said "I'll get to Him when I have time." I've really been working on changing this lately. I'm beginning to feel distance from God and it's my fault and I don't like it. I've started up daily time with God again, but half the time I don't know where to start. I know that may sound silly, but that's how I feel.
