1st week of school done

I'm in my second full week of school and things are rolling.  I finally have my daily schedule finalized, it only took me all of last week.  I am really enjoying everything and I have a great class of students, but I am definitely exhausted (mentally) at the end of each day.  I have had 2 migraines in the past 2 weeks and I have had a headache every day this week.  I am learning and practicing different management techniques and it's a challenge, but I am improving each day.  There is still a lot I have to learn, but thankfully I have been blessed with an incredible mentor teacher who is willing to help me with anything and is always encouraging me and is even willing to listen to me vent about my frustrations.  The other teaching staff as well as the administration are also very supportive.  God has greatly blessed me with this job!!  I don't have recess duties which is nice, and every day the students go to what they call a "special"--art, music, PE, and health--and so I get prep time then too.  I take student volunteers to open our day in prayer and most days I wish I could record their prayers; they are so precious!  They use children language, but their prayers are so sincere and the way they say things is just so cute.
Tonight was parent night where the just the parents came to my classroom and I introduced myself again, talked about the curriculum we use, my classroom routines and management strategies, etc.  I was super nervous and very intimidated.  Every insecurity I have ever felt came back in full force and doubts filled my thoughts.  I seem to have this need for everyone to like me and if someone doesn't I take it super personally. I spend so much time worrying about what others think of me that I forget that it only matters what God thinks of me.  Through prayer and encouragement from the other teachers I made it through tonight and it actually went well.  I got positive feedback from the parents and feel like I communicated well how much I care for their children and how I want God to be the center of my classroom.  However, it is a HUGE relief to have that over with, I've been stressing over it all week.  
Cute/funny student quotes of the week:  "Miss Baggett, come here I want to tell you a secret....(whispers in my ear) did you know that stars are actually round?"  "Why are you wearing a scarf INSIDE?"  my response "It's........decoration."
One of my students who came to parent night tonight on her way out "You're the best teacher ever!" and then her little sister who's in preschool turns to me, wags her finger at me and says "Yah, you know you're the best teacher!"  So cute! :)

I still haven't found a place to live, though I am still searching, and I have faith that God will provide.  I thought I would share some pictures of my room, so here are a few.

The couple that I am living with, Dwight and Shelley, until I find a place are also a HUGE blessing!!  They are so wonderful and are super supportive and fun.  Shelley is on the board of the local farmer's market and so on Saturday, for most of the day, I helped out at one of the booths.  At the booth, there was this paint spinner, where you put a piece of paper on a spinner and as it's spinning you drizzle paint on and it makes cool designs.  This was a free activity for kids at the farmer's market to come and do.  It was really fun!  There were several lulls where no kids would come and I used those times to experiment with the paint spinner, making my own creations.  One of those times I was trying to use the blue paint (it was almost empty so not much was coming out) and when I squeezed the bottle nothing came out so I thought it would be a good idea to squeeze it harder.  Now keep in mind that the spinner is spinning this whole time.  Much to my surprise, the lid of the paint bottle popped off and was flung around in the spinner until I managed to turn the spinner off.  There was blue paint EVERYWHERE!  And by everywhere, I mean all over me.  I had it in my hair, on my face, on my arms, and on my clothes.  My comment to the guys that were working the booth with me was "I like to wear my favorite color.....all over."  My thought was "only me, this would only happen to me."  It was pretty hilarious.  Here are two of the ones I made, the one with a blue background was the paper that was in there when the blue exploded...

For those of you who weren't aware, there was a big solar flare recently that would supposedly make the northern lights visible to parts of the US where you wouldn't normally be able to see them.  Friday was supposed to be the best night, but Sat was also supposed to be a good night (well, that's what I read at first, though apparently that changed).  On Friday, I mentioned that seeing the northern lights was on my bucket list.  So, on Saturday, we drove up to Bellingham, WA, which is about a 2 hour drive north to see if we could see anything.  We found a good spot where we could see, but we never did see anything.  However, to make the drive worth it, there's this pizza place Dwight and Shelley had been to before called Fat Pie Pizza.  We ordered this pizza called 57 Packard, that had a deep dish crust, chicken, caramelized onions, Gorgonzola cheese, basil, and bacon.  It was the best pizza I have ever had in my life!!  It was so yummy.  

Ramblings of a new teacher

For those of you that want to follow my first year as a teacher, I am going to try to keep up a blog of my experiences.  
As I was thinking about blogging again, I came across this blog I wrote 4 years ago and it was a good reminder...... 

(9/24/2010) Lately I’ve really been struggling with constantly putting myself down. Nothing I do is good enough for me, everyone else is better than me. I find myself constantly comparing myself to those around me and in my mind I am always falling short. I am full of insecurities about who I am. For example, I love playing the piano, it's my way to relax and melt away my stress. But lately, I hear others playing and all I can think about is how much better they are then me and that causes me to analyze and criticize my own playing which does not make it very relaxing. I came across this quote the other day "Don't rely on someone else for your happiness and self-worth.  If you can't love and respect yourself - no one else will be able to make that happen. Accept who you are - completely."  

That last part of the quote is precisely my problem recently. I don’t accept who I am. I feel like I don’t measure up and that if I truly let go and be myself around people that they won’t accept me for me. I want so badly to be accepted and loved that a lot of the time I try to change who I am. It’s okay to change things about yourself, but not if the reason is because you think someone else will like you better for it.  I know I’m probably not the only one that that struggles with this, but sometimes it sure feels like it. I look around at all these beautiful girls who appear confident and appear to have it all together and then I see me and practically see the opposite. I just feel awkward all the time and I think what is wrong with me? 

I need to be looking ultimately to God for this love and acceptance I desire because only He can give that unconditional love and no matter how I act or how much I mess up, He still loves and accepts me for me. God is the one I should be looking to for approval, not man; I should be striving to be more and more like Christ, not man.  And this is comforting to know that even if everyone hated me (which isn’t true, but if it was) God would still be there with open arms waiting for me to run in. 

Starting a new teaching job, I find myself focusing again on all the things I am doing wrong and I get the overwhelming feeling that I can't do this, what were these people thinking hiring me?!  I compare myself to other teachers and think, "I will never be as good as them."  But, I am my own person, I have my own teaching style that aligns with my unique personality.  I am not them, so I have no business comparing myself to them.  And, I CAN do this.  I can do this through Christ who strengthens me.  For 2 years, I prayed for God to provide the perfect teaching job for me.  He answered my prayer above and beyond what I expected.  I work with an INCREDIBLE group of teachers that support me, pray with me, and help me; I have a great group of students; and I get to teach about God!  God provided me with this opportunity, and He will be with me every step of the way.  I need to stop focusing on my failings, and start focusing on God.  God led me here, He has a purpose for me and my job is to trust that He will give me the tools I need for this job.